The Divine Crash

After being a pastor for a few years I have made more than my share of mistakes. and I have found there are a few types of mistakes.

1. Wrong and you know it. Someone comes to you and says “Pastor, you really messed up” and you know they are right and you really did mess up something. These are honestly the easiest mistakes to deal with.  It is simply a matter of standing up and owning it. Putting on your big kid pants and taking your lumps like you deserve. Sometimes we stand from the pulpit and say “I’m sorry,” or other times it is a phone call but these are the easiest kind to deal with and grow from.

2. Not wrong and no one knows it. This is the kind when someone comes to you and says “Pastor you messed up.” and you know you didn’t do anything wrong. That the situation they are talking about is a situation where you handled everything right. Maybe the person in your office sees it differently than you do or maybe they don’t know the whole story. Either way, you didn’t do anything wrong.  These types of situations require a delicate balance between planting our feet and standing our ground and giving in for the sake of the relationship.  As a pastor we are in the relationship business and sometimes, I think, we need to cave in and admit the other person was right even if we don’t believe simply to preserve the relationship. This is a very difficult act and a very difficult thing to do but sometimes I think we may need to do that. I think sometimes giving in is right when to stand our ground would betray the confidential nature of certain situations. Other times we need to plant our feet and say “I’m sorry you feel that way, but…” this will hurt people and puts up barriers and walls. I think though that there are times this is important and necessary to drive people forward and hopefully closer to Jesus. But if we get it wrong and hold fast when we should give then we can do  A LOT  of damage to people, church, kingdom of God. Knowing which option is not easy and should be taken with great care.

3. Wrong and no one knows it. This is the hardest kind of mess up there is. This is when a pastor gets it very wrong, in some aspect and no one catches it. Whether it is from a sermon or a speeding ticket or something else more serious and no one knows.  What it means at its core is that there is no one there to push the pastor and challenge their own smugness. After awhile it can become almost like an addiction to see how badly we can screw it up before someone notices. This kind of mistake may go unnoticed for a short time but eventually it will catch up with a pastor and cost them more than they ever planned on spending. These kind of mistakes only happen in isolation and only because the pastor is alone. If you are reading this and you find yourself in these sorts of mistakes you need to find someone to tell and share with before it consumes you.

Last week we launched our brand new contemporary worship service. It was amazing, the spirit was moving, and it truly was a movement of God. Now comes the hard part of maintaining that momentum. To ask God to create that atmosphere again would be wrong.  Instead, I prefer to ask God to do something brand new again. I fear that if I ask God to do what was done before I might grow numb to it, but if God does something brand new again then I can’t grow numb.

It will be interesting to see what happens this week. My prayer is that I might simply be a part of what God is doing. I can’t wait to see what it will be.

So I have been in pastoral ministry for almost six years and as a result I have had my fair share of conflict. I have learned a few things about handling conflict and I thought I would share them here.

1. Conflict is not always bad. Our responses are the problem.  Conflict happens because someone wants something they don’t have and they are passionate about it. The problem becomes how we respond to it.

2. We can choose to respond any way we want but there is a right way and a wrong way. As free will human-beings we can respond any way we want. We can throw a fist, run away, yell, lie, gather friends, cry, whatever…. but there is a right way and that right way is dependent on the situation. While I don’t think Church conflict ever calls for violence there are times where running away is better than yelling and the other way around. Unfortunately the only way to know which option is best is through trial-and-error, and getting it wrong causes pain. So choose carefully and follow through.

3. What we do after the conflict matters.  I have heard people say that those moments immediately following conflict are the most dangerous. I would agree with those nameless others. With the adrenaline coursing through our veins and the hurt boiling just under the surface is when we can say the things we regret, and not even to the person who hurt us but to the innocent bystanders who just happen to be there. It is in those moments that we need to be ever vigilant to our emotions and our surroundings  Sometimes this is the time to escape and be alone so we don’t do anything stupid. Other times this is the time to cry, scream, and yell.  I find this depends on the person and what they need the most at that time.

Conflict is a difficult beast but is always present in ministry. It isn’t always bad but must always be managed appropriately, otherwise the beat will destroy us.

Ever heard this before? Slow down, you are going to fast and  changing to many thing. Recently I have heard it and maybe it is my natural energy level but I can’t slow down. There is too much that needs done. Here  I am in my ministry appointment and I have one year. That’s all. And I have to get done everything God has called me to do, which means I do not have to waste.

I pace myself. I take time for my family and for God but I when it is time to work it is not time to slow down. I never know when it will be time for me to move to a new appointment and so I don’t have time to kill or wait around for the “perfect timing.”

but the question becomes, if I go to fast I may burn out/crash. So how do I manage the pace and not burn myself out?

Recently I gave a sermon outlining what the Bible says about Church. This sparked some good questions and discussion.  However, I did have one person ask me “What kind of Church do you want?”  I am not sure if this person was actually asking or trying to make a disparaging remark about the current state of The Church.  My simple response was that I wanted a church that God wanted us to have. Now that I have had some time to process the question, I guess my response is that I want a church full of misfits.

You know the misfits, the outcasts, the ones society forgets and hates.

The ones that think differently, look differently, or even act differently. They are not the best at everything and sometimes they can’t give an offering.

The church I want is filled with those who don’t fit in anywhere else in society and are simply looking for a place to belong.

But the question becomes, what if they show up? What happens when the misfits arrive in church? What do I do with them? How do I love them like Jesus?  If this is what I want, how do I get it? What happens if I do get it?

If you have been in ministry for any length of time then surely you have had things not go the way they were planned.

It’s those events where no one shows up, or EVERYONE shows up. Or the food is late or the car breaks down, or whatever.

This one time, I had a car full of youth driving to a music festival. We were 2 hours from home and 2 hours from the festival and all of a sudden the car just shuts down. We were driving on the turnpike at 75MPH and suddenly nothing, not even power steering. I got it off the road and had to have it towed home. The transmission died on me.

So what do we do with that kind of stuff? It is easy to get angry in situations like that. We sat in a turnpike rest stop for 3 hours waiting for the tow truck.  It is easy to get angry.  It is easy to feel like I let down those youth.

But, perhaps God has a purpose in that. Perhaps God has a plan for all of that. But maybe the plan isn’t for you, maybe the plan is for someone else.  Maybe God needs you to go through that so someone else can learn a lesson.

Too often, we get upset over our “Plan A” not working out and we feel like we have to go to “Plan B” and some of us are even on “Plan Q” by now, but the reality is, all of this is part of God’s “Plan A.”  God does not have a “Plan B” God only has a plan that will succeed and it involves each of us.

We may feel like everything fell apart but the truth is, it didn’t. I heard a man once say “Everything will work out in the end, if everything hasn’t worked out then it isn’t the end.” I think that is the point. Things may be hard right now but that just means we haven’t hit the end yet.

So, it may be your “Plan Y” but God is still on “Plan A” and it will work out…..eventually.

What is Faith?

Faith is not sitting in a pew on Sunday waiting for the world to change.

Faith is getting out and making the world better in the name of Jesus.

Faith is dirty hands, worn-out joints, and exhaustion.

Faith is painted faces, balloon animals, and stuffed lambs to the hurting.

Faith is brake pads, new chains, and free helmets to anyone who needs a bike.

Faith is about getting dirty and showing the love of Jesus to those around us.

Faith is about loving those no one else loves.

Faith is about reaching out to those no one else notices.

Faith is not about chastising the darkness for being dark it is about lighting a flame thrower and spreading as much light as possible.

Faith that sits around and wonders when things will get better is not faith.

Real faith is about getting hands dirty, loving others, and meeting them where they are and showing them the love of Jesus.

Let me set the scene.

We get this great vision from God.

We get the plan in place.

It starts to work, maybe a little slowly at first but it starts to work.

It starts to gain momentum.

Then there is a hiccup. Something goes wrong. Usually a small glitch.

In the room walks doubt.

Doubt that it would ever work.

Doubt that it was from God.

Doubt that you can do it.

Doubt….the demon of all good ideas.  If doubt gets enough room to roam it will eat everything and leave you striving for mediocre and hoping that as long as we “don’t make any waves” then everything will be fine.

I SAY NO! DEATH TO DOUBT! DEATH TO MEDIOCRITY!! 

When doubt creeps in and tells you that it can’t be done, remind that doubt who is really in charge. Who really owns the show and who is big enough to overcome the hiccups. The God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and the God who formed the universe is the one who gives visions and