The Divine Crash

Normally I am a nice person.  Normally, I smile politely, pray for people when they ask, help old ladies cross the road, and all that sort of nice stuff that people expect from a pastor.  Then I get in the car and exchange my Bible knowledge for curse words in multiple languages.It doesn’t matter if I am driving a four-cylinder Nissan or my six-cylinder KIA, when I get in I become the opposite of a pastor.  Curses come out of my mouth in connections I didn’t think were possible.  I don’t think I drive recklessly, but if middle-fingers were a tally of what everyone else thought of my driving then on my best day I score a 37 and my worst day is 5.

I don’t know why this happens.  I wish it didn’t happen and I know I am supposed to try better but all these slow drivers who forget their turn signal bring out the worst in me.

This has a direct impact on my wallet in the form of brakes, rotors, exhaust, and extra gas.

I guess for me the question is: Which is the real me? The nice calm version or the maniac behind the wheel?

I would like to think that the crazy me in the car is not actually me but a demon possessed version of me, but what if it is the real me?

What if the nice me only exists because of my oppressed feelings that leak out when I drive?

At this point do I even exist? I think I do?

Maybe I don’t exist, maybe neither version is real?

What would it look like if my driving attitude matched my regular attitude? Would I have more friends and a lower insurance rate?

How do I do that? How do I die to both sides of myself and create a new self?

Is there a prayer? Is there a meditation? Do I pull over and count to ten every time someone cuts me off?

Maybe, maybe that is where it starts, maybe it all starts with a recognition that this dualistic nature isn’t what I want and it won’t get me what I want and a decision to stop.

So I guess what I need is a decision to stop driving like a maniac and pray before I drive and not just pray that Jesus keep the guy who is texting away from me.

This all makes me curious on how this would apply to other areas of my life, procrastination, paying my bills, loving my wife and kids?  And in millions of ways every day?

What about you, the reader, what would it look like if the person you were when no one was looking was the same as the person you are when everyone else is watching?

Now, if you will excuse me I was driving while I typed this and my exit is coming up.

- RevBT

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Pastoral Life by RevBT